Virgins, virgins, virgins…
So, you’re a virgin. Here we play a game called just the tip, wait wrong kind of virgin. So you are a virgin hasher, the abuse is just beginning but here is some stuff you might want to take into consideration before your first hash…
Hash By Laws
Um…we’re the hash, we don’t have by laws. We do ask that all who attend our events be of legal drinking age (21 as of this writing). It is also important and necessary that you have a valid, state issued photo id to attest to your age as most of the establishments we visit will require it.
Hash Overview
A “hash” involves a trail that is set once weekly by some unlucky group of hashers, typically a lead and some helpers. These poor sods are known as the “hares”. This also leads to the use of the terms “harriers” (male) and “harrietes” (female) when referencing hashers in general. The trails themselves are anywhere between two and six miles long, depending on which kennel you’re with. Trail is typically marked in flour and/or chalk.
How to Find the Hash
Each week, hashers meet at a predetermined place. There are various ways to find out where and when the hash will start. The first is this site, go to the calendar for info on the next hash. You can also call the Hash Hotline at (702) 390-HASH and the recording should give you all the information you need. You can get notifications from this website by sending an email to lvhhh_subscribe@alfter.us (it can contain anything; we only look for the email address and start sending reminders to it). You don’t need to let anyone know you are coming, just show up! Unless of course you are going to be late. Then you might want to let someone know. Who? I don’t know but let them know.
Get in the Box!
Once it has been deemed an acceptable time to begin (hash time is very close to CPT but not at the same time), everyone gets in the “clearly” marked box and we bless our hares. After this we send the “hares” off and do a “Chalk Talk”. This is the time when the markings will be explained as well as certain particulars concerning the trail. We also have hash calisthenics to warm up before the trail. Join in. Don’t be afraid we don’t bite. Unless asked.
The Actual Trail
After hash calisthenics and chalk talk, you will be pointed in the general direction of the trail start and will then be on your own (actually, you will surrounded by other hashers, but the difference is negligible). You will be looking for the marks as described by the hare(s).
On finding the first mark, you, the clever virgin, will yell out “On-ONE!” to indicate you do not have your head totally up your arse, and may be going in the right direction. Upon finding the second mark, shout out “On-TWO!” Find a third mark, and holler “On-ON”, the indication that you are indeed on true trail.
When you find a circle with a cross through the middle, this is a “check” which means that trail can go anywhere in 369 degrees (or more). The hares will attempt to confuse you with false trails, which may be marked with three horizontal lines… or not at all. Trail may simply evaporate after one or two marks. If this happens, return to the last check and try a different direction. At the check, you may also see trail marks with initials or strange symbols next to them. These are pack marks, arrows left by other hashers indicating the direction they took from the check. Follow these at your own risk… we don’t always know where we’re going.
And if you’re one of those overachieving virgins who likes to run, look behind you, and you may see the whole pack bearing down on your cries of “On-ON!”. You are now an “FRB”, or Front Running Bastard (or Bitch).
A Cherished Moment – The Beer Check
After running on trail for awhile, somewhere between the start of the run and the end of the run, there will be a very special check…the “Beer Check” also known as the “BC”. Sometimes we have one beer check, sometimes more. The more beer checks on a trail, the more likely you are on a longer run. At the beer check, beverages, including beer, water, and soda are provided. Beer checks help keep the group together. While the faster runners drink and enjoy a break, the slower runners and walkers have time to catch up. But all have some time to enjoy a beverage. From the beer “check”, we are off looking for trail again. And we continue on trail until we see the lovely words below
On-In
The end destination of the trail is known as the on-in. This is usually somewhere in the middle of nowhere as not to disturb residents or bar patrons. That does not mean that is how it will always end though, we have ended at hashers residences and bars. At the beginning of the on-in, a circle is formed. The Religious Advisor (“RA”), Grand Master (“GM”), or Tyrant calls the hares into the middle where they are given a trail trial, meaning we let them have it for the shiggy or lack thereof they put us through. Visitors and virgins are also given justice for making the mistake of running with us. Accusations are made for abuses on trail, showing up late or skipping the trail all together and just showing up at the end. Note: If you choose to wear new shoes, apparel that references competitive rces or rnning clubs this will lead to down-downs as well, prepare to drink for your foolishness. Accusations lead to down-downs, songs are sung, beer or other beverages are consumed, snacks are eaten and much merriment is had by all.
Still want more info? Here are some Frequently Asked Questions collected from new hashers…
(Q) How do I join the Hash?
(A) Just show up to one of the trails. On your first trail, you will be a virgin but can consider yourself a hasher thereafter. In Las Vegas, you may be considered for a hash name after hashing at least five times and laying one trail. Unless you do something really stupid and a naming is required.
(Q) If I attend a hash, do I have any obligation to show up regularly or pay dues?
(A) In Vegas, the money you pay at the beginning of each trail is the only money we ask you to pay. We have people who show up once a week, and we have people who show up once a year (or less). If you had a good time, come back. If you decide that hashing is not for you, just stop showing up.
(Q) What exactly is a “Hash Name”?
(A) A “Hash Name” is the name that hashers go by during hash events. Every hash member receives a hash name, as decided by the other hashers. You may be considered for a naming after your fifth trail and first hare. Usually this name has some connection with a personal embarrassing event, or has sexual implications. In any case, it is usually a name that you don’t refer to in public, sign on your e-mails, or put on your resume. The more embarrassed or dissatisfied you are with your hash name, the more likely you are to be given that name…
(Q) So what’s the deal with the term “Hash”?
(A) Okay, here’s the story: The Hash House Harriers phenomenon began in 1938 with an Englishman named Albert Stephen Gispert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. He gathered together a group of British expatriates to play a variation of a game known as the “paper chase” or “Hares and Hounds”, an English schoolboy’s game. The group got its name from their hangout, The Selangor Club, which was commonly called the “Hash House” due to its barely edible food. Need more info? See our hashtory section.
(Q) I’m oversensitive and easily offended. Is Hashing right for me?
(A) Hell fucking no, you fucking whiney lil bitch. You should find a different hobby (suing people, tree hugging, protesting, etc.) That being said, who knows, maybe we can help break you out of your shell. Give it a try and if you don’t like it you don’t have to come back.
(Q) What kind of people attend the Hash?
(A) People from all walks of life, from judges to students. You’ll find hard-core runners, non-competitive runners, walkers, and those that just like to get out and get a little exercise. In all cases, they are people that enjoy a good laugh, and can have some fun socializing while still getting some exercise and drinking.
(Q) Can I bring my children to a Hash event?
(A) It’s not recommended unless you’re setting aside money for psychotherapy. Unfotunately, we’re not a family hash.
(Q) Can I participate in a Hash event without being forced to drink alcohol?
(A) Absolutely, wuss. Although a healthy tolerance for people who drink is desirable, the point of hashing is to have fun and get some exercise.
(Q) I want to be a hare. What do I do?
(A) First, attend a few runs so that you get the idea of what hashing is about. After that, see our HareRaiser who is usually looking for people to set runs. You will probably want to have a veteran co-hare to help out and show you the ropes.