Las Vegas Hash House Harriers

LVHHH
Every Saturday

CALENDAR

~Exerpts from the Hash Hymnal~

Monday Is A Wanking Day
leader: Today is Monday!
all: Today is Monday!
leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
all: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
chorus:
leader: Is everybody happy?
all: You bet your ass we are!
all: (raise cups over heads and make one complete turn while humming) da da dut da da, da da dut da da
leader: Today is Tuesday!
all: Today is Tuesday!
leader: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
all: Tuesday is a finger day! (fingering motion)
leader: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
all: Monday is a wanking day! (wanking motion)
chorus
(now that you've got the idea, here are the rest of the days)
Wednesday is a hmmmm day! (stick tongue between 2nd & 3rd fingers)
Thursday is a drinking day! (raise glass in salute)
Friday is a fucking day! (humping motions, cheering, happiness)
Saturday is a hashing day! (running motions, cheering, happiness)day of rest
Sunday is a hashing day (low key, almost quiet)

If Your Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, that’s her asshole not her clit
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over

Harriette Song
Well, the wiggle of her ass could make a dead man cum,
And the nipples on her tits are as big as your thumb.
She's a mean motherfucker;
She's a great cock-sucker;
She'a a har-ri-ette!

Hot Vagina
Hot vagina for you breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It’s delicious and nutritious,
The flavor can’t be beat,
So take a tip and lick a clit,
Hot vagina can’t be beat.

Put Your Left Leg Over My Shoulder
Put your left leg over my shoulder,
Put your right leg over my shoulder,
(wag tongue)
La la la la la, la la la la, la la la.
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
(shake head)
Bla bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla bla, bla bla bla.

Drink Two Beers
We drink two beers in the morning
We drink two beers at night
We drink two beers in the afternoon
It makes us feel alright
We drink two beers in times of peace
And two in times of war
We drink two beers before we drink two beers
And then we drink two more
Drink it down, down, down, down…

It's A Small Dick
Well it isn’t long and it isn't thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat,
But it's all that he's got,
It's a small, small, dick.
It's a small dick after all,
It's a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It's a small, small, dick!

Head
Head?!?
Who said head?
I'll have some of that
and we did
and it was good!
and there was much rejoicing!
and then we fucked!
we fucked for hours,
uprooting trees and shrubs and flowers,
like vikings, with horns on our head!
head?!?
who said head....
i’ll take some of that
(optional ending…)
we don't want women/men with good taste!
we want women/men that taste good!

Dinah, Won't You Blow Me?
To the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad"
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my hooorrr-orn?
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow me
Dinah, won't you blow my horn?
Someone's in my sister's vagina
Someone's in my sister I knooo-oowww
Someone's in my sister's vagiiii-naah
Pumping like a dynamo
Dynamo, dynamo, dynamo

HER LEFT TIT
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

Her left tit hangs down to her belly,
Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit,
She'd get lots of weenie from me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

HERE'S TO BROTHER HASHER(S)
Melody - Ach, Du Lieber Augustin

Here's to brother (sister) hasher,
Bother hasher, brother hasher,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

He's happy, he's jolly,
He's fucked up by golly,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

So drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.

MRS. MURPHY

Put it in your mouth Mrs. Murphy,
It only weights a quarter of a pound,
Its got hair on its neck like a turkey,
And it cums when you jerk it up and down, down, down……

HE'S THE MEANEST
Melody - Itself (similar to Okinawa HHH melody)

He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass, Hey.

All he does is pound it, Hey
Ever since he found it, Hey
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.

So drink it down, down, down . . .

HIS ONE-SKIN
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
So Roll back, roll back,
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back my foreskin for me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

SOLDIER SONG

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, to fight for my country,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.

Drink it down, down, down . . .

THERE WAS A LITTLE BIRD
Melody - Itself

There was a little bird,
No bigger than a turd,
A-sittin' on a telephone pole.
He ruffled up his neck,
And shit about a peck,
He puckered up his little asshole.
(point at violators): Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
He puckered up his little asshole.

THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .

WHY WAS HE (SHE) BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?
Melody - Itself

Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fuckin' use to anyone,
He's no bloody use at all.

They say he's a joy to his mother,
But he's a pain in the asshole to me,

So drink it down, down, down . . .

ZULU WARRIOR
Melody - Itself

Ole, zooma zooma zooma,
Ole, zooma zooma hey,
Ole, zooma zooma zooma,
Ole, zooma zooma hey,
Drink it down you Zulu warrior,
Drink it down you Zulu chief, chief, chief…..!

OH MY DARLING

Oh my darling, don't say no,
Onto the sofa you must go.
Up with your petticoat,
Down with your drawers,
You tickle mine,
And I'll tickle yours.

DOUGH, THE STUFF…
Melody - Do, Re, Mi

Dough, the stuff, that buys me beer,
Ray, the guy who serves me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks me beer,
Fa, a long long way for beer,
So, I'll have another beer,
La, La, La, La, La, La, La,
Tea, no thanks I'll have a beer,
And that brings us back to,
Down, Down, Down…..

WHIP IT OUT AT THE BALL GAME
Melody - Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Whip it out at the ball game,
Wave it round at the crowd,
Dip it in Peanuts and Crackerjacks,
I don't care if you give it a whack,
Because it's -
Beat your meat at the ball game,
If you don't cum it's a shame,
For it's one, two,
And you're covered in goo,
At the old ball game!

SALLY IN THE ALLY

Sally in the ally sifting cinders,
Lifting up her leg and farting like a man,
Wind from her ass blew out six windows
Cheeks from her ass went blam, blam, blam,
Drink it down, down, down……

TWENTY TOES

There's game called twenty toes
It's played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
And the men with ten toes down, down, down….

PLEASE TELL ME WHY

Melody- Lit, My own Worst Enemy

Please tell me whyyyyyy.i...i

I hashed with all these drunkards, Last niiiiight

And I've got women's clothes onnnnn,

I'm with a girl I don't know, and sheee

goes down, down, down.......

(Courtousy of Urine My Closet, Onslow County H3)

HIM
Him, Him, Fuck Him
Drink it down down, down, down……

I LIKE BEER

I like beer,

Yes I do,

I'm a fucking hasher,

I'll take two,

I'll take two.

(Can be used for down, downs)

~INFRACTION SONGS~

WHY ARE WE WAITING?
Melody - Come Let Us Adore Him

Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .

The Shiggy shaggy chant can be performed whenever someone screws up a verse in a hash song (of course, the offending singer must immediately do a down-down while the pack chants).

Shiggy shaggy, shiggy shaggy,
Oi, Oi, Oi!

SHITTY TRAIL
When the hares lay a shitty trail or you just don't like them (this is every occasion).
Melody (Mickey Mouse)

S-H-I-T-T-Y… T-R-A-I-L
Shitty Trail,
(High Voice) Shitty Trail,
Shitty Trail,
(High Voice) Shitty Trail,
The mother fuckers layed a shitty trail.
I would rather drink abeer than run your shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y… T-R-A-I-L
Drink it down, down, down…..

~HOLIDAY SONGS~

The following are courtesy of Deep Chocolate:
Oh the weather outside is frightful
But his dick is so delightful,
And if you want to see it grow,
Give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow.

"Deck the Bars" to the tune of "Deck the Halls"
Deck the bars with drunks so jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to get sloppy
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don we now our hash apparel
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
We are wanks who drink from barrels
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
See the frosty ale before us,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Pass the keg & start to pour'eth
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Follow me in merry measure
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
I'll show you some Yuletide pleasure
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Holiday Song
Oh the weather outside is frightful,
but my dick is so delightful,
and if you really want to see it grow,
give it a blow, give it a blow, give it a blow.

Santa's Drunks are Hashing Through Town to the tune of "Santa Claus
is Coming to Town"
You'd better not pout,
you'd better not cry,
Order a stout,
Cuz Santa will buy,
Santa's drunks are hashing through town!
He's running a tab,
He's getting real smashed
Don't sit on his lap,
Cuz Santa is trashed!
Santa's drunks are hashing through town!
He sees you when you're drinking,
you know he's had too much,
he's hitting on your girlfriend, but-
he's about to lose his lunch!
You'd better not pout
you'd better not cry,
Order a stout,
Cuz Santa will buy!
Santa's drunks are hashing through town!

SCHHH
Every other Tuesday

CALENDAR